Grisham and the snake...

Book update: Finished The Testament this afternoon. Good book. Featured an oft rehabbed ex-lawyer sent to the remote swamplands of the Pantanal to locate a female missionary who, unbeknownst to her, just inherited $11 billion from her estranged, recently deceased father.

So that's 2 books in 11 days. 630 total pages. I'm on a roll--and not ashamed of the nerd it makes me.

Makes me wonder, though...where was this motivation to read in High School? Or, um...college?

To be fair, it's not that I didn't read, it's that I didn't read the things I was supposed to. Whoops.

Next selection: The Appeal - John Grisham

Reckon I'll keep on the Grisham kick until I get bored or hit a lull. This one, 324 pages.

Embarrassing Story Time:

- Bear with me on the set-up, as it helps with the story's hilarity.

Remember the dude [Nate O'Riley] from the book? Well as he's working his way through the Pantanal, he naturally encounters several creatures he's not used to seeing in his typical suburban D.C. lifestyle. He doesn't mind it a bit--it's an adventure, after all--until the topic of snakes is brought up. At one point, they come upon an anaconda. All black, approximately 12 inches wide and 8 feet long. Just reading about this made me squirm. I haaaaate snakes.

As I begin my run, I look around at the clear country air, calm trees, thinking 'Man am I glad I'm here in the country and not the Pantanal--no anacondas here!'

And THEN...about a mile in, I see a big, black snake on the left side of the dirt road, not 10 feet in front of me. No anaconda, mind you, but, um...it's a freaking snake! Probably three inches in width, four feet long [estimates]. Needless to say, I panicked. Slammed on the breaks like a hockey player sliding to a stop in front of a goalie. Made an abrupt turn to go back the way I came and--TWIST went the knee. Ouch! Had to limp most the way home--and all around the house since then. Thankfully, the snake did not follow me home.

And that is my snake story.

As a follow-up to the story, this conversation ensued:

Me: "That was my favorite route to run, too...won't be taking that way for awhile now."
Mom: "Yeah, because the snake will be there waiting for you."
Me: "I know! That's what HE said. He said 'Don't come back 'round here or I'm gonna f*ckin' eat you.'"
Mom: "I bet he did."
Me: "Where did I lose you on the story's believability?"
Mom: "Go away, Derrick."
Me: "Dang it. Well it was still pretty scary."
Mom: "I know."

Snakes are bad,

Derrick