Things People Say

I'm pretty much hilarious. If you disagree, stop reading now.

Hey, thanks! You kept reading, which means I roped you into a trap. See? Funny.

Here are some funny things I've said (or thought) recently to make myself laugh--if no one else. Just because I can...

Facebook chat with Jen Th.: "I'd rather [long list of funny, ridiculous things here] than watch volleyball."

Text conversation with Teri K:
[I had mentioned having to move farm equipment off my basketball court and that one item was particularly heavy].
T: "What part was heavy?"
D: "Do I look like the type of cat who knows farm equipment?! For all I know, it's an alien spaceship."

Pretend conversation between me and F. Scott Fitzgerald [who's been dead for 70 years]:
F: "Exclamation points are like laughing at your own jokes."
D: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jerk."

Thought to myself:
- If I was Weird Al Yankovic, I would create a song called: "Beer Drops on My LeCar."


Think Taylor Swift would approve?


Side note: If you have negative thoughts or views about Taylor Swift, you can commence to the rock-kicking portion of your day.

I'm sure there are more funny things I've said or thought. But I'm so funny, it's hard to pick out the best ones. Just kidding. Actually, I thought I had more material for this bit--turns out, not so much.

Moving on [but still on the topic of things people say]...

I've noticed at times that people develop certain habits in their patterns of speech and become insanely repetitive with the way they talk. I try to refrain, but am probably guiltier than anyone.

I'm sure if you talk to me much at all, you've already noticed, but just for fun, here are some things I say way too much:

- I know, right? [this one's trendy--hence its annoyance]
- Whatever, dude. [kind of coined this one myself, I think]
- No worries. [makes me feel like an Aussie]
- Hey Phil, I hate you. [ah, brotherly love]
- lol [force of habit--I hate myself for this one]
- Well hi to you, too. [to people who start conversations without a greeting]
- Sorry. [unnecessary apologies drive me nuts, but I'm guilty, too]
- Did you see my Facebook status? [seriously, did you?]

- I wanted to post one of my current favorite songs on here, but since the music website I use doesn't have this song, I'm posting a video instead [NOT the official music video for the song, but still great]. I love this song! Give it a listen.

Things People Say - Lady Antebellum



If you don't have anything nice to say, talk about something else,
Derrick