...flip-flops and jump shots.: A half-truth equals a whole lie.

Since my sister [hi, Rhonda] recently blogged about lying, and I seem to lack creativity lately--I will, too. Going to try to dive a little deeper into the topic of lying, rather than just bellyache about it--like most people seem to do.

I've always thought it was silly for people to ask: "Why do guys (or girls) lie?"

I have two thoughts when I hear this question...
1. There are different "reasons"--no one in particular.
2. It shouldn't matter why they lie, just that they lie. Shows character--err, lack thereof.

1. The reason I say there are many reasons is because it depends on the person, and the situation.
- Some people lie just because they can. They probably got away with it once, and they saw how easy it was for them.
- Some people lie out of guilt. They probably did something they knew was wrong, and assume the truth will hurt more, so they lie to "protect" the person they're lying to.

-The vague question of "Why do people lie?," as if the answer is roundly the same--ridiculous. Each case is different.

In my case...I don't know why I was lied to. My best guess is this...

-She wanted so badly for me to like her (at first, anyway), that she tried to be the person she thought I wanted. In fairness, she was probably lying to herself, too. But that's no better. In fact, it may be even worse than lying to me.

2. Once you know you've been lied to, things seem to crumble from there. How far back do the lies go? Where do they end?
-Example: I was blatantly ignored for months [convinced she found someone else, and decided instead of being honest, disregarding my existence all together was an easier route]. And then...

I get a 2-page text message apology out of the blue last week. It read (exactly) as follows...

"I know I am probably the last person you want to hear from, but i want to apologize. I am sorry for hurting you. You deserve so much better than me. Whoever you end up w/ is very lucky and i hope she knows that. You are an amazing guy i let slip through my fingers."

Quasi-sincere, eh? Or maybe not. My conclusion?

Doesn't matter whether it is or isn't. The motives for such an act were obviously skewed, regardless of their intent--thus not warranting a reply.

Could the text itself be a lie? Sure. Could it be heartfelt? Maybe. Though evidence points to the contrary. Regardless, for once in my life, I don't want the last word.

Several response ideas popped in my head at the time. Here are some samples:

"I wouldn't have slipped through your fingers, if you would've bothered to hold on."

"All you ever had to do was make an effort, and be honest."

"Yeah, I know."

"Liar."

But it wasn't worth it. High road, and all that jazz, you know...

It was great for a time--it really was. But was it real? I think so. But even then, my drastic efforts aside--something changed. And I'm done with it.

I'm choosing to say more...by saying nothing. I'm darn proud of that decision.

...and that's no lie.

"Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said." - Mark Twain

Do the right thing,
Derrick

PS--Random thought of the day: If anyone knows any girls with a voice even half as sexy as Jennifer Nettles, send her my digits. These are two of the most incredible music videos I've ever seen--and I'm a dude. Check them out--even if you've seen them before. You can almost see her soul. Amazing, I think.

Just goes to show...vulnerable can be sexy.